


Almost is Never Enough

by adrykomclexakru



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Clexa is Endgame, F/F, FUCK YOU JASON, they are soulmates, they belong together
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-03
Updated: 2021-03-03
Packaged: 2021-03-16 07:20:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 956
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29821377
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/adrykomclexakru/pseuds/adrykomclexakru
Summary: “Lexa…” it was a whispered prayer, a plea.“Don’t leave…” Lexa pleaded right back, her forehead coming to rest on the back of Clarke’s head and it was Lexa’s arm around her the only thing keeping her together.“Clarke kom Skaikru, your needs are my own and your people are my people, this I vowed to you and I will keep this vow for as long as there’s breath in my chest and blood in my veins. Our people need us.”
Relationships: Clarke Griffin/Lexa
Comments: 3
Kudos: 55





	Almost is Never Enough

Clarke sighed deeply, she wished she could slow down time, to freeze it, she  _ yearned _ to live in this moment forever, Lexa naked under the covers, peacefully sleeping next to her and for a moment just for a moment she hesitated in her conviction, was it worth it? Was it  _ really  _ worth it? Her people were the worst… Clarke didn’t really like more than half of them anyway but being here with Lexa, finally giving in and admitting -at least physically if not verbally- their feelings for each other she finally understood.

Understood what the poets and musicians and poets were all about, what the movies and the songs described, she finally understood what it was like to have a home, to belong and it was so  _ fucking _ unfair, just her luck, that she had to walk away from it to save the lives of people that would probably never understand what she was giving up, for people that would sneer and criticize and judge her if they knew, they would never know what it was like to have Lexa look at them with the sun shining on her face as if the sun itself wanted to kiss her, they would never understand what it was like to have Lexa kiss them with trembling lips in a kiss that tasted of both fear and hope, they would never understand…

The finger she was using to trace Lexa’s back tattoo faltered as she felt the grief, love and pain built up and stick in her throat, her vision blurring with unshed tears and she all but threw herself off the bed, a second longer and she would lose all conviction.

She gathered her clothes and got dressed with her back against the bed, one more look and the tears would finally spill from her eyes or she would end up getting back on the bed with Lexa. Clarke tried to make the time it took her to get dressed last forever, never before had she considered time as cruel as she did in that moment, she could feel it sliding through her fingers.

Clarke took a step towards the door, her feet felt stuck to the floor and her heart felt broken in million pieces and yet it beat so wildly in her chest it hurt and despite having only taking two steps she was panting like she had run a marathon and ahe wondered if maybe she should, if like a bandaid she should run out of the room find Octavia and run out of Polis before she has the chance to make up her mind and just stay.

One more step and the door would be within her grasp, she wasn’t going to chance another look, she wasn’t strong enough. Clarke lifted her arm and heard a rustling behind her but she couldn’t break her focus now, if she had the presence of mind she would admit that walking out of this room was proving harder than it had been pulling down that lever…

A sob finally broke pass her lips as she felt Lexa’s arms wrap around her from behind because how was she supposed to go back to the loneliness and the constant fighting her own people to stop being so  _ fucking  _ stupid and adapt? Stop trying to make the ground theirs and instead become the ground’s? To fight them for their own lives?

“Lexa…” it was a whispered prayer, a plea.

“Don’t leave…” Lexa pleaded right back, her forehead coming to rest on the back of Clarke’s head and it was Lexa’s arm around her the only thing keeping her together.

“Lexa…” she repeated because there was nothing else that could make it pass the knot in her throat.

“I thought… I can’t, I can’t Clarke, not again, I love you, it was as inevitable as the sun rising every morning, I can’t lose another love, I won’t survive it this time… I won’t survive if it’s you I lose.”

“But the blockade,” Clarke replied leaning back into Lexa’s warmth.

“You are Wanheda, Commander of Death, Slayer of the Mountain and I’m their Heda, Commander of the thirteen clans… we can figure it out, together,” Lexa stepped back and turned Clarke around and cupped her cheeks “Clarke, I don’t want to wait until we don’t owe our people anymore, what we did with Emerson, the whole point of it was so that our people stop surviving and start living. We are strong and stubborn enough to find a way?” Lexa asked and Clarke’s hand found purchase on Lexa’s arms, holding onto her for dear life, like Lexa was her lifeline and she would disappear if she eased her hold even a little.

“Clarke kom Skaikru, your needs are my own and your people are my people, this I vowed to you and I will keep this vow for as long as there’s breath in my chest and blood in my veins. Our people need  _ us. _ ”

And it was those words, softly whispered inches away from her lips and those pleading green eyes, Clarke pulled her in as she lunged forward in a kiss that tasted of blood, desperation and love.

“Us… together,” Clarke said pulling back enough to look into Lexa’s eyes but just enough cause even an inch more felt like death by thousand cuts.

“Together,” Lexa replied pulling her closer as if she felt it too and another son broke through her lips because she had felt broken for so long, her soul had been fragmented, she had been losing pieces ever since the lost of her father but here in the solid yet soft hold of Lexa she felt complete, stronger than she ever had.

“I love you too.”

**Author's Note:**

> I haven’t been inspired enough to write specially Clexa since the whole b*liza fiasco because E kinda broke my heart with the whole cheating and stuff like I have no problem with people finding love and I can separate actors from characters but i admired her and was thankful and thought her an ally and then finding about it plus the character of her choice in partners it was just too ugh but I found out it was clexa week this morning and i went into the tags again and then I had to just get something out and this came out.
> 
> I’m sleep deprived and very rusty and wrote this on my phone lol but I just couldn’t sleep and I wrote this in like an hour so I’m sorry


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